4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. (1 Timothy 3:4-7, NIV).

This week we finish up on the qualifications for elders. As a short review, the first requirement is the most important. The overseer must be above reproach, blameless. This means that the person needs to be mature. They do not need to be perfect, just mature.

In reality, other than “apt to teach” all the requirements are the requirements of a mature person. Gene Getz wrote a book on this entitled, “The measure of a man.” The idea is that these character qualities should be in everyone.

For our graduates, this becomes important. You are moving up in the food chain. You are going from Junior to Senior High. You are moving from Senior High into the adult world. You are moving from College into the work arena. The apostle Paul said these words, 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11, NIV). There is a maturing process that takes place. We look for them in leaders, but these traits start developing when people are very young.

Paul ends this portion of scripture with three illustrations. These three illustrations are the only parts of this list that are expanded. We were just given one or so words before this. Now we have a characteristic with some extra input. All of these three illustrations fall under the umbrella of “above reproach” or “blameless.”

The first illustration deals with a person’s ability to manage. Manage is the operative word here. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) Two times it shows up in this verse. The leader must not only know how to manage his family, he must do it.

What are some of the marks of a well-managed family? The children will respect their father.

The children, out of respect, will be obedient. This is what we look at as an outward sign. Obedient children. It does not speak of happy children. It does not speak of children who fall at the feet of their father and say, “Thank you Dad for asking me to clean my room. I want to do it for you! I will get right to it and you will be proud of me!” It just asks the question, do the children have enough respect for their father that they obey?

The father who wants to win respect and obedience must show that he cares about people. This comes up with the phrase “how can he take care of God’s church?” The care aspect is the root cause for proper obedience. The children know the father cares about them.

I have known fathers that expected their children to guess that he cared for them. They spent no time, they had no interest in what was happening in their children’s lives. To be seen and not heard was a happy home. This kind of father cares about himself and no one else.

When a father cares about his children, he is in a position to win their respect. When he has their respect, he will find obedience follows.

So young people, now is the time to start caring about others. Now is the time for you to start building respect in others by treating them right. You attitude towards fellow classmates, your brothers and sisters, your parents, you teachers all should be marked by a caring spirit. If you have a caring spirit, you will find that you will win the respect of others. You will certainly live in a way that pleases God.

When we come to look at who should be an elder, we are looking at someone who is not a perfect parent, but someone who manages his own family.

The second illustration deals with a proper attitude. Paul especially warns us not to put in a new believer. The new believer may be fifty years old. They may be successful in business. They may be rich. They may be a great speaker. They may have several earned degrees. But we must be careful not to put a novice, a new believer, into the position of leadership.

Why? Paul does not say no to this person because of any of the things we have mentioned. Paul says no to this person because they may be full of pride. They may become conceited. “I’m great.” “I’m better than other people in the church because I am so highly qualified.” “Here I am a believer for thirty days and I am jumping ahead of those who have been here for thirty years.”

This is what happened to Satan. Satan was kicked out of heaven for his great pride. He thought he was equal to God. There is a contemporary song that goes, “There is none like thee…” This song is so true. There is no one like God. New believers can fall into the deity trap. They would never say they are like God, but would act like it.

Jesus had a way of identifying leaders that I use when I evaluate leadership in the church. Here is what he said: 10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. (Luke 16:10, NIV). The idea is this. Give someone a small task. If they fail, help them out. If they succeed, given them a bigger task. Don’t throw someone a bigger task then you are sure they can handle. But if they can manage a smaller task, then move them on. Some people talk real well, but when it comes to doing it is a different story.

Young people, when you graduate from eighth grade or high school or even college, everyone will give you awards and tell you how good and smart you are. But the next day, you will find that you have gone from the top to the bottom, from seniors to freshmen, from a leader to a follower.

I will give you a piece of advice. Whatever small task you have, whether it is attending class, getting a paper in, showing up at work on time, sweeping a floor, turning a hamburg, do it and do it well. If you are faithful in little you will be faithful in much. People will notice, and if they don’t, God will.

The third illustration speaks about having a good reputation. The warning is this: Don’t just look at what a person does in church. Look at how they are viewed in the community.

John Wooden, the great basketball coach from UCLA, died at the age of 99 this past week. He used to tell his players, “Character is what you are, your reputation is what others think you are.” This fits so well with the Biblical picture. A person of the kind of character outlined in the earlier verses is someone who has a good reputation. Proverbs tells us that, “If a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” Reputation follows character.

Some people have great power in the church, but are not honest or faithful out in the community. They have family or friends, or they have been in the church for a long time. However, they can be bitter, unforgiving, hard-nosed, unloving people at the workplace, in the school or in the community. Everyone knows that they have problems. They have lost the reputation of the community and so they are not fit for leadership in the church.

One of the most precious things you will ever have is your reputation. Once lost it will be hard to reclaim.

This past week a major league umpire made a bad call that caused a pitcher to lose his bid for a perfect game. He made it on the last out of the game. He was clearly wrong. Umpires are tough people. When they make mistakes, they usually stand up for the mistake. Every decision is bad in someone’s eyes, so they don’t bother to get too ruffled. But when this umpire saw the replay, saw how wrong he was, he went into the locker room where the other team was an immediately apologized for his bad call. It’s amazing. Everyone agrees that it was a horrible call. But, and this is the point, not one person I have heard has anything but respect for the way he dealt with his mistake. People hated him for the call, but admired him for his courage in bucking up to his mistake. His reputation is intact.

Young people, live for Christ. People are watching you. Do you love Jesus from the heart? Show it. Did you know that businesses are looking at people’s facebook pages, companies and schools call references to find out about your character. If you are right inside, then what you do outside will naturally follow. If you are wrong inside, then at some point, sin will rear its ugly head. All it would take for some of you is to be busted for drugs, to be involved in a robbery, to have your name in a paper for something bad and your reputation would suffer for a long time.

So live for Jesus. He loves you and has a plan for your life. It’s found in the Bible. Follow it and you will be blessed.

And when we think of who we want for leaders in the church, God tells us that we want people who can manage people, people who are not full of pride or untested and people who have won the respect of those outside the church.

This is the last message on this topic. Please let us know who you think fits this bill.

Graduates, we want to honor you today.