Proverbs 22:6
 “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

              It is at this season of the year that many parents realize the importance of these words.

              Many of you have experienced the graduation of children from high school or college.  Now they are preparing to go out into the big, bad world and one question that many parents ask is, “Is my child ready?”  To which some reply, “Yes,” and to which others reply, “They are ready, but I am not.”

              There can be a great deal of separation anxiety on the part of both the children and the parents.

              Some children can’t wait to get out of the home, others don’t ever want to leave.  And parents have the same feelings.  Some can’t wait for their children to leave and others hope they never do.

              All of you young parents will face that day sometime.  I want to share with you some Biblical teaching that will help you face the day of separation.

              First, instill in your children the fear of the Lord.

              Many people laugh at this.  They think that this used to be a good thing to do, but we want our children to know a God that loves them, not a God that they should fear.

              But a fear of the Lord is absolutely foundational in the life of any person.  Why?

              Because “7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” Proverbs 1:7, NIV

              Notice that the fear of the Lord is not the end of knowledge, but the beginning.  This implies that one of the very first teachings we should give our children is teaching on the fear of the Lord.

              What is the fear of the Lord?  The fear of the Lord is the principle that if we work with God, He works with us, if we work against God, he works against us.

              We see this in other areas of life.  Electricity will kill us if we don’t follow the rules and touch open wires, but it will work for us if we plug a light into the sockets in our home.

              A raging river is to be feared.  It can kill anyone who swims or boats in it, but the  turbine that stretches across it can provide power that is useful for us.

              Is this a harmful teaching for young children?  I don’t see them psychologically bothered by the electricity principle.  And you make sure they don’t play in the river when the current is fast.  So give the balance.  The fear of God for the Christian is a healthy respect for God.  Our children need to have that.

              How does this happen?  It happens when the parents have a healthy respect for God.

              How can you expect your kids to respect God when you swear in front of them?  You know and they know that such language is not pleasing to God.  But it is obvious to them that you are not afraid of what God thinks about your speech, so you use foul language as though God cannot hear.

              Deeper still are your spiritual habits.  Do your children see you reading your Bible?  The Word tells us to meditate on it day and night.  If you treat this with indifference, then your children think that God doesn’t need to be obeyed, doesn’t need to be respected.

              Do you faithfully attend church and Sunday school?  Is religious instruction important for you?  We used to sing the song, “I want to be more than a Sunday goin’ to meetin’ Christian…”  But many Christians view their commitment to God, to other Christians, to the instruction in the word, to be limited to Sunday morning.

              Think about this.  Unless there is some spiritual intervention, your children will probably exhibit an equal or lesser commitment to Christ than you do.  What does the future hold for your children if this becomes true?

              Train up your child in the way that he will go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

              So many are buckling in to the lie that we don’t want to force religion on our children.  That may be true, but there is a difference between forcing religion and giving them maximum exposure to Jesus and to spiritual truths.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, not the end.

              Included in this concern for the moment of separation is another important principle. 

              This principle is that the only thing that can come out of a person is what is placed inside.

              That is why the Psalmist said, “9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.”  Parents should ensure that their children are Biblically literate, in other words, that they know the teaching of the Bible well.  The word inside their children will help them when you are not around to keep themselves pure.

“11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalms 119:9, 11, NIV

Your children need to know the Bible.  They should know the Bible stories.  They should know Bible doctrine.  They should know Bible application.

The responsibility for this rests on the parent.  Proverbs tells the parent to train up their children in the way they should go.

The church provides a support role.  But what an important support role.

When a parent tells about Jesus, the church gives a second voice to the importance of Jesus.  The Bible tells us at the mouth of two or three witnesses a thing will be established.  The parent is one and the church is another.

The Bible, especially the New Testament tells us about our obligation to one another. 

How can your children love, edify, encourage, pray for and with and love other Christians if they are never in church to meet them?  The church provides a place for them to obey Jesus’ commands about making disciples.

When I think about the church, I think about our purpose in meeting together.  We meet to glorify God in worship, evangelism and edification.  The neglect of meeting together will have a profound effect on your children in these areas.

We sing the song, “I want to see Jesus lifted high…”  But he is only lifted high when we lift him up in our homes, in our jobs, in our church.

This past week I met a young man at Living Waters who had damage to his body because the oxygen was cut off when he was born.  It hasn’t affected him mentally, but physically he needed a chair and walked with crutches.  He told me that this past year God had told him not to be always praying for a miracle, but to accept that God could use him as he was to help others find Jesus.  He received counselor of the week the week I was there.  I don’t know about you, but I would have a lot less separation anxiety about his chances in succeeding in life than I would people who are not committed to living for Jesus.

If you don’t start at a young age love, service and commitment to Christ, it will be more difficult when they get older.

But a final thought is this.  When all is said in done, when you have taught, given advice, helped them, loved them and done all you can, you need to trust God as you let them go.

Separation anxiety is controlled by a new awareness of the ability and power of God to be with our children, to help them, to nudge them to move them into the center of his will.