This morning I want to speak to a second area in which people in the NT church spent their money. The first, which we have spoken on for the past two weeks, was the poor in the church. The church met the needs of people in the church. If a person wouldn’t work, they would not help them, but people with real needs were helped.
The second area in which people in the NT church spent their money was on providing for their families. This responsibility was taken seriously by the early church.

We find this given in 1 Timothy 5:8: .” If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

This is pretty strong language that Paul uses. If we do not provide for our relatives, especially our immediate family, we are denying the faith and we are worse than an unbeliever.

When I was a child, my father abandoned my mother. He left her and provided no support, no forwarding address, no help for her five children in the home. I am not venting anger, I am saying that he did not provide for his family. He was not a Christian man. He never professed faith in Jesus Christ. From what the Bible tells us, we can expect this kind of behavior from those who are not Christians. Except Paul tells us in this passage that a Christian who neglects his family is worse than an unbeliever. Most non-Christians have a deep seated conviction that they should support their own families.

When we look at immigration, both legal and illegal, what is a major factor in people trying to enter the United States? A major motivation is to raise the living standard for their families and to provide support for them. Many immigrants are continually sending money home to relatives to help them out. I believe that illegal immigration is illegal, but my point is not political, it is that even unbelievers feel a strong need to take care of their families.

NT Christians placed a high priority on taking care of their families.
Verse 8 is the negative of verse 4. “4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.” Paul has a fundamental principle underneath this statement: A person’s character is best seen in how he treats his family. He spoke of this earlier. Speaking of the elder earlier in 1 Timothy, Paul says, “4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.” 1 Timothy 3:4, NIV. Speaking about a deacon he says, “12 A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well.” 1 Timothy 3:12, NIV. The rationale is given in verse 5. “5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)” 1 Timothy 3:5, NIV.

A person’s character, a person’s faith, is seen in how he treats the people in his own home. Our Christianity should lift us up, it should make us better people, it should cause us to treat others with kindness, compassion and concern. Our faith in God should flow out to others.

In Romans Paul says, “8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellow-man has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” 10 Love does no harm to its neighbour. Therefore love is the fulfilment of the law.” Romans 13:8-10, NIV. We should not harm our neighbor. But if we treat our neighbor well but harm our family, we deny the faith.

In this passage, Paul speaks again about the help the church should give to those who are needy within it. We have a responsibility to one another. But if a person will not work, we are to warn them and not give them anything. If a person has a real need, we help. If not, we withhold. But secondly, the church gives to those with real needs. A person will real need is someone whose need is above the ability of their family to help them.

1. Verse 3: “Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.” Help those with real needs. Let our attitude be that we want to help. People know when the person they are talking with wants to really help. As Christians, people should know that our word is good, that if we say we will do something, we will do it. None of us are perfect at this, but this should be our goal.

2. Verse 4:” 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. Family should help family. Who is family? The KJV speaks of “children or nephews.” The NIV translates this “children or grandchildren.” “4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.”

The key to understanding who is family is found in the word “repaying.” Paul is saying that we should learn to put our religion into practice by repaying those who brought us up. So children and grandchildren fit into this better than children and nephews. But the Jewish family was close-knit. Family helped one another.

There is a Dutch proverb that says “It frequently seems easier for one poor father to bring up ten children than for ten rich children to provide for one poor father.”

Parents don’t want to be a burden to their children. I hope that is your attitude. We don’t want to live off our children, especially when we can provide for ourselves.

What Paul is saying, however, is that if a person is truly in need, it is better for the children to step in first and help the person so that the church can become a safety net for those widows who do not have children. I know of a situation in which someone needed help and the church helped. When the family heard about it, they stepped in behind the scenes and said, “Thank you for your help, here is a check to cover what you did, for it is our responsibility to help our own family.” The family did the right thing.

But this goes deeper than that. Some people are wrecking the family finances by wasteful spending. The family is in debt and in need of help because a person is not using the finances they have to pay the necessary bills.

One mark of an alcoholic is when he or she spends money on alcohol to the neglect of bills owed to other people. Some people feel that they can max out credit cards and then not pay them off. The lack of control is wrecking the family finances. Some people feel that they need a better car, newer clothes, a 54” HDTV in their home. Are these bad? No. But if we use money that belongs to other people, in other words, if we have bills we owe that we haven’t paid, we are not providing for our own family.

Some of you children put so much pressure on your parents. You have heard them say, “We can’t afford whatever it is you are asking for.” But you pout or sulk or get angry. You wear them down and wear them out. You have a responsibility to back off and help your family honor God with the finances.

What happens if you do your best and ends still don’t meet? You go for help. The church will do what it can with limited means to help you. Our government gives help to those in need. Be in need before you go and ask.

God wants us to be givers, not takers. If our parents paid for our upbringing, what better way to thank them than to help them in their time of need. I have talked with parents who have had tears in their eyes because their children came over and delivered wood. The children paid for electricity or oil. The children helped with shopping expenses.

These parents didn’t want to be in the position of receiving help from their children. But they were truly grateful for the help they received.

These two areas are two areas that Christians in the early church spent money on. They gave to help the poor and they took care of their own families.

The most important part in this whole section is the phrase in verse 4: “…for this is pleasing to God.”

When your family has real needs and you are the one who helps meet them, God is pleased with that. If parents are providing food, shelter, and clothing for their children, if children are helping their parents with real needs, if brothers and sisters are looking out for one another, God is pleased. I am not telling you this, Paul is saying this, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

Do you want to live a life pleasing to God? Then give and help your own families. This is pleasing to God.