1 Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. (1 Timothy 3:1-3, NIV).

This morning we will continue to look at the qualities of an elder. These qualities should be evident in every Christian’s life. If they are not, we should be working towards these. We have discussed the umbrella trait that is used to modify every other trait. The overseer must be blameless. Not perfect. The idea is that when you look at this person, you do not see major life issues that need to be worked on. They may not be perfect, but they are ok.

The first trait we looked at is translated the “husband of but one wife.” We looked at that and discovered that it shows a man who was committed to his wife or to one woman. I tell you, that if you are allowing yourself to be attracted to someone other than your spouse, you are in dangerous territory. Cut any ties you can. Be devoted to that woman or that man. No Christian should ever be accused of having more than one woman in his life.

This morning we are looking at three more traits. These three are “temperate,” “self-controlled,” and “respectable.” These three traits all reveal character.

Before we become Christians some of us could take a hard attitude towards what people thought of us. We didn’t care. We were tough. If people didn’t like what we did, so what?

But now we are Christians, something has changed. That hardness that is inside is starting to melt away. We realize that we ought to care. The love of God inside us makes us care about others. We also realize that our lives are now connected to Jesus Christ. Our toughness makes Jesus look bad. So we want to change. We are concerned with our reputation. We are concerned about how others view us. We follow Jesus but we want to be at peace with all men.

So there are three qualities needed for every leader that every Christian should have.

The first is that we should have a clear head. The word “temperance” was used to describe something without wine. It even described something that was not made out of a vine that produced wine or had no contact with wine.

This is where the word ‘temperance movement’ got its name. The Temperance movement that started in the 1800’s had at least two societies in Branch Mills that stood for the total abolition of alcohol as a beverage. Their efforts resulted in Prohibition.

As Paul uses it here, he is not talking about a person’s contact with alcohol. He will discuss that later. What he says here is that the person who is an overseer must be temperate. In other words, he must be clear-headed. Some translations use the word “sober.” This is the idea. How does a person drinking think? His thinking is clouded. His reaction time is slowed. Brain cells die. How does a sober person think? He thinks with a clear head.

What can make a person’s thinking be clouded over a period of time? I am not talking about someone who just went through a crisis and is in shock and doesn’t know what to do. I am not talking about someone who didn’t get enough sleep and their mind is fuzzy. I am speaking about someone that rarely thinks clearly. Their thinking seems to be always clouded. They don’t make a lot of sense. Their logic is off. Their thinking is off.

Alcohol or drugs can do it. Long term drinking or drug use can change your perception of the world around you. You are sure that you have it together. Others see that you don’t.

Unrelenting pain can cloud your judgment. This can be physical or emotional. Past issues that have not been resolved, past wrongs that are not right, past sins that still fester can cause unclear thinking. When an issue comes up, the person reacts to it emotionally. Someone comes to a leader for help with abuse. But this leader has been abused in the past, so their emotions take over and they end up giving poor help. Or someone was disrespected at another church. They have not resolved the issue and bitterness is in their heart. Similar issues will bring out an emotional reaction, not necessarily a godly reaction.

None of us are immune. We all have our horror stories. But when it comes to a church leader, if someone is known to lack a clear head, if someone reacts as though their mind is clouded, if someone is not sober-minded, that person should not lead until they have learned to follow Christ.

Clear thinking needs to be followed by clear action. This is what is behind “self-controlled.”

There are two groups of people in this world, those who are able to control themselves and those who won’t. Some people are rash. They make rash decisions and rash judgments. They spend what they cannot afford. They jump into relationships that are not healthy. They switch jobs on a whim. They are not serious when they should be serious. Life can be a game to them.

These people may not hear it, but people talk about people who have a habit of making rash decisions. It is unfortunate, but these rash decisions have a negative impact on family and friends. They hurt others. Everyone has made a rash decision at some point in their lives. But the church does not want a leader who has made this a pattern of life.

If you think clearly and control your actions, you will have little trouble with the third one: respectable. We would say of that person, “That is a decent person.” That person is ok. They are not perfect. They are ok. This week we heard Kevin Grant, pastor of the Kennebec Valley Baptist Church, make this statement: His sermons are never good, but they are good enough. If we wait for perfect people to show up to lead the church, we will wait a long time. I will have to leave. But if we look for people who are clear headed and who make good decisions, people we can respect, people who are respectable, then they will be good enough. They may not be perfect, but they will be good enough.

What if you are not quite there yet? What if you know your thinking is not as good as it should, that you lack self-control; that you know that others don’t respect you and that lack of respect is deserved?

Some people have physical limitations on how well they can think. Just as some people are tall and some short, so some do well on critical thinking skills and some do not. We need to understand that we won’t all be like someone else.

This does not mean that we cannot improve on what we have. If you know that your thinking is cloudy I would encourage you to do two things:

First, trust Jesus. Trust the Bible. Believe what God says and act on it. Cloudy thinking does not need to be followed by poor decisions. If you don’t fully understand, you don’t know what to do, do what Jesus tells you to do in His word.

Second, trust others. If your thinking is cloudy and you know it is a problem, talk to people you trust. Listen carefully and even if you don’t fully understand, follow the advice of people you trust, people who love God and follow Jesus.

If you lack self-control you face a real problem. Sometimes we can speak before we think, buy something before we consider the need and the cost, act before we work out the impact and consequences. Impulsive behavior can be a real problem.

I will give only a brief group of suggestions for this issue.

First, trust Jesus. When he tells you to listen better or to remain debt free or to watch you speech, his words in your heart will help you if you trust him. I don’t know how many times the Holy Spirit has flashed this verse in my brain: “Let every man be quick to listen…” That has put the breaks on speaking before I had thought through. Or in Hebrews where it says to “owe no many anything…” If you trust Jesus, you trust the Bible, you will curtail debt before you start.

Second, think about others. This is a component of love. Sometimes we impulsively buy for others. But think about all that will be affected. Stop and ask you, when you got mad in the restaurant, what affect did your outburst have on the waitress? On your company? On other people who were around you? Did it honor God? Was it loving?

Impulsive behavior is often a sign that we do not love others, we do what we want when we want to. God says, “Love one another.”

If you start to make better decisions, if you start to keep yourself under control, then you will start to gain respect. God will be able to use you in a much greater way. Isn’t that what you want?