1 Thessalonians 2:6-7

We are studying the extraordinary visit of Paul to Thessalonica. He was there three weeks and many people became Christians. 1 Thessalonians 1 describes the outward signs of their inward faith. He redeemed the time. He made the most of every opportunity.

Why was this so? Chapter 2 shows us that in the three weeks that Paul was in Thessalonica, he connected with people. He went to the synagogue and didn’t waste any time in connecting with people. As we learned last week, he was careful to make sure that he did so in a manner that would please God. He did not come to try to flatter the people in Thessalonica for his own benefit. He did not avoid conflict if it meant compromise. He did not soft pedal the message for the benefit of the listeners. He put God first in what he said and how he said it.

This week we look at another dynamic in the way that he connected with the people in Thessalonica. We will see that this dynamic was a major reason that people listened to him. This is given in 1 Thessalonians 2:6-7.

6b As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you,

7 but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.

Paul was gentle. As a mother cares for her little children, so Paul cared for the Thessalonians. Lets look at what gentle looks like.

The opposite of being gentle is being a burden. Effective ministry is when people see us as an asset, not a liability. Who pays between apostles and people? The people. The laborer is worthy of his hire. The people are the givers. Who pays between a mother and her child? The mother. For the mother is the giver. One reason Paul’s ministry was effective was that he was the giver, he was there to help people, not burden them. Mothers are by necessity child focused. Babies don’t live if mothers do not feed them. Babies cannot clothe themselves. They are very dependent. Paul says, “I fit that role with you. I was here to help, here to support, here to be an asset, not a liability.”

We are in the middle of a debate in our society between entitlements and merits. Those who promote entitlements believe that it is the government’s responsibility to make sure that everyone has their basic human rights met. So they look to the government to meet needs including equality in employment, health and certain benefits. The other side of the debate says that people should merit what they get. They should take responsibility for their own lives, work hard, pay their own way and not look for government to bail them out of the problems they may be in.

Whichever way you lean, Paul says, “I have a right to burden you. I am entitled to help based on the Word of God and the practice of the other apostles. We could have come asking for financial help. But I chose to bless you rather than burden you. We did not charge or look for any help from you.”

So I ask you this question. Who will be most effective in reaching you with anything, someone who wants something from you or someone who wants to give you something?

Gentle people are more effective than people who place a burden on us.

I receive a lot of junk mail. Most of it I throw in the trash without opening. Most are asking for money. But some companies give free pens. I will always open those envelopes and sometimes even read the fine print before they get chucked away.

If you want to see a key as to why Paul was so effective in seeing many come to Christ in a three week period, just realize, he came to bless not to burden the people. Gentle people are more effective than people who place a burden on us.

This is illustrated in 1 Kings 12: 1-16.

“Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all the Israelites had gone there to make him king. When Jeroboam son of Nebat heard this (he was still in Egypt, where he had fled from King Solomon), he returned from Egypt. So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: “Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labour and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.” Rehoboam answered, “Go away for three days and then come back to me.” So the people went away. Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked. They replied, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favourable answer, they will always be your servants.” But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?” The young men who had grown up with him replied, “Tell these people who have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter’--tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’” Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to Rehoboam, as the king had said, “Come back to me in three days.” The king answered the people harshly. Rejecting the advice given him by the elders, he followed the advice of the young men and said, “My father made your yoke heavy; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.” So the king did not listen to the people, for this turn of events was from the LORD, to fulfil the word the LORD had spoken to Jeroboam son of Nebat through Ahijah the Shilonite. When all Israel saw that the king refused to listen to them, they answered the king: “What share do we have in David, what part in Jesse’s son? To your tents, O Israel! Look after your own house, O David!” So the Israelites went home.” 1 Kings 12:1-16, NIV.

Paul’s burden was financial. He refused to ask for pay, but gave of himself as a mother does to her children. What are some of the burdens we put on people?

First, we put a burden of guilt. Notice I used the word “we” here. I don’t know about you, but I have enough guilt through the work of the Holy Spirit so that I don’t need you to make me feel guilty. Where do we get the idea that it is our job to make people feel bad about what they have done? Where do we get the idea that we need to make people feel guilty? Let me know if you can find one verse that says we should do that.

Sometimes we make people feel guilty even when that is not our purpose. If I make the statement, “Non-payment of taxes is a sin…” I am saying that as a general rule of life. I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty. But if you take money under the table and don’t pay your taxes, you might feel a twinge of guilt or anger. If I tell you the Bible teaches that adultery is wrong, I am stating fact. You might end up feeling guilty, but that is because you have sinned and the Holy Spirit is convicting you.

There is a difference between that and the attempts by some to make people feel guilty. That is their goal. What is the effect? The same as in Rehoboam’s time. We build resentment. Division and separation are the result.

This is the perception many have of the church. We are a place where people go to feel bad. So the question is, “Why go?”

I will tell any of you who are full of guilt this. Jesus paid it all. Whatever you owe God was paid for at the cross. Whatever you deserve for what you have done is paid for by Jesus. He died for you and took God’s wrath on himself. If you turn to Jesus, there is no condemnation. You can deal with guilt by coming to Jesus who has taken away the sins of the world.

Second, we put a burden of perfection on people. “Why can’t you be better…?” we ask. “Why can’t you be a better worker, a better husband, a better wife, a more organized person, a more caring individual, more help, better whatever…”

All these thing might be needed, but you will find a couple things happening. First, your frustration level will go up. Second, those with whom you are frustrated will stop listening and “go to their own homes” as did the people with Rehoboam.

I like the definition of insanity. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

If people dread to hear or see you coming, you will not be effective in making inroads with the gospel or any significant spiritual changes in their lives.

Third, we put a burden on people by being takers. Are you a person who only sees people when you want something from them? “Here comes so-and-so. They want something from me.” It might be money, tools, sugar or anything. Most people don’t mind helping and sharing. But there is an invisible line where a person moves from being a person with needs to a person who is a taker. The problem is that if you are just a taker, you will find yourself ineffective in sharing the gospel.

These are just a few if the burdens, I am sure there are more. But if people run from you went you enter a room, you may want to take a serious look at your life. One of the keys to Paul’s success was that he connected in a way that blessed and did not burden. He put God first. We do well to imitate him.