Read Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Notice that child-training is directly linked with the first and great commandment. What is God’s primary objective in child rearing?

Read Leviticus 19: 2-4. Of special interest is the order in which God sets the instructions. Both honoring parents—and most specifically the mother, as she is mentioned first—and Sabbath-keeping are mentioned before idolatry. In terms of good family relationships, this is the order of introduction to the child. In an infant or young child's life, mother is primary. Would you agree that God gives all of this instruction with two common goals in mind - to produce holiness and good family relationships?

Read Exodus 20:12, which is the fifth commandment, and the first commandment with promise. Why does God want us to honor our parents? Consider that the family is the basic building block or unit of society, thus the stability of the community depends on the stability of the families that comprise it. A person's response to government derives from the parent-child relationship. The lessons and principles learned from honoring, respecting and obeying parents will result in a society stable enough to promote development of the whole person and the whole society. Do you see stability in our people and our community?

Read Isaiah 3:1-12, and particularly verses 5 and 12. Not honoring parents causes immaturity. Because children do not respect their parents' advice, they grow up missing the significance of much of what they encounter, and so wisdom comes to them very slowly. In some cases, perhaps they never learn wisdom. Lack of honor manifests itself in self-willed and self-indulgent people who seem to simmer just beneath the point of rebellion. Their motto in life becomes "Just do it." So they condemn themselves to learning the lessons of life through hard experience, which may be a good teacher, but a painful one. Tough love was discussed in church recently. Would you commit to tough-love your children?

Read Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21 and Proverbs 22:6. Mothers are not excluded. Paul is addressing the person with the overall responsibility. Also, God consistently teaches that the strong are responsible to care for the weak. In this context, the parents are strong, the children are weak. Discuss the correct rearing of children, while considering these parameters: Parents must not depend upon their size and strength to demand respect, but should strive to earn it through strength of character, wisdom and clearly expressed love. The wrong way provokes embittered, fretful, defensive, listless, resentful, moody, angry or sullen children. Paul counsels not to challenge the child's resistance with an unreasonable exercise of authority. Correction is necessary, but a parent must administer it in the right spirit, counterbalanced by lavish affection and acceptance. A twig should be bent with caution. Firmness does not need to be harsh nor cruel. Punishment should never be revenge nor dispensed just because the parent is irritated. Severity only hardens the child and makes him more desperate. If a parent does not use his authority justly, he cannot expect a child to be respectful. It does not happen automatically.