2 Kings 8:25-27

THE MEN’S THESAURUS (men don’t always say what they mean) – excerpts:

- When a man says: "IT’S A GUY THING" - He means: "There is no rational thought pattern connectedwith this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

- When a man says "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER" - He means: "Why isn’t it already on the table?"

- When a man says "UH HUH, SURE HONEY," or "YES, DEAR" - He means: Absolutely nothing – It's aconditioned response.

- When a man says "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" - He means: "I have no idea how it works."

- When a man says "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD" - He means: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

- When a man says "THAT’S INTERESTING DEAR." - He means: "Are you still talking?"

- When a man says "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." - He means: "I can remember the themesong to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed & the vehicle identification numbers of everycar I ever owned – but I forgot your birthday."

- When a man says "OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL" - He means: "I have actuallysevered a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt."

- When a man says "I CAN’T FIND IT." - He means: "It didn’t fall into my outstretched hand, so I'mcompletely clueless."

- When a man says "I HEARD YOU."- He means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and I amdesperately hoping that I can fake it well enough so you’ll not spend the next 3 days yelling atme."

- When a man says "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" He means: "I am used to the wayyou yell at me and realize it could be worse."

- When a man says "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!" - He means: "Oh please don't try on one more outfit, I'mbored and starving."

- When a man says "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." - He means: "No one will eversee us alive again."

This from Wiki on the Internet:

Steps to being a good father:

Have fun. Fatherhood is a big responsibility but it is also a lot of fun. Show your kids that you enjoy being their father.

Spend time with and take responsibility for your children. Some fathers miss opportunities to spend time with their kids because they have competing responsibilities or interests. However, once the opportunity has passed, it's gone and you can't get it back. If you don't establish an intimacy with your children when they're young, it'll be difficult to catch up when they're older and still need your help and support.

Be a teacher by both word and example. Children need to be taught right from wrong and will need to see it demonstrated by their father. Make decisions in front of them and explain to them why you came to that resolution. Talk to them about choices you made in the past and why they did (or didn't) work out. Evaluate all of your own decisions by thinking: "What would I want my child to do in this situation?" Teach your children that it is okay to make mistakes. Everyone makes them. You do and they will too. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes and try to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again.

Show affection. Some men may be uncomfortable with offering their children affection and communicating their love. Being affectionate with your child shows them that you love them. It also teaches them to show affection to others.

Respect your children's mother. Mutual respect between a child's parents is important whether or not the parents are married to one another. Children will mimic their parents' behavior. How you treat your child's mother will influence the way in which the child will view his or her own role when they become parents. Do not be afraid to stand up for your own views as a parent. They are equally as important and valuable as those of the child's mother who may or may not spend more time with the child. Make parenting a partnership, be on the same page about how to discipline and reward your child and be consistent.

Don't Place Unreasonable Expectations on Your Children. A child's life can be filled with pressures, from siblings to kids at school to teachers to coaches. Help your child understand their desires and assess their capabilities and limitations. Help them set achievable goals. Encourage them to meet their full potential but avoid living vicariously through them by expecting them to achieve what you had achieved or hoped to have achieved.

Don't Place Unreasonable Expectations on Yourself. You are an important person in your child's development but many other people and things will influence their development and growth. Just as you can't take credit for all of your child's strengths you also shouldn't shoulder the blame for their weaknesses.

Realize that a father's job is never done. Do not assume that once your children turn 21, or they have a college degree, that your work raising them is done. Although it is important to encourage your children to become financially and emotionally independent, it is also important to let them know that you care and are always there for them and that they are valued.

Good advice. I think most of us in here would agree with what is said. I think most of the people in our community would agree with what is said in this article. Did you notice what was missing in the article about how to be a good father?

There was no mention of God. This was good advice, but no mention about God. Why is that?

We are trichotomous. This means that we are made of three parts: body, soul, and spirit. The body is our tent. It is what we live in. It has built in electrical circuits that receive information through the five senses.

The soul is the part of us that interacts with the information we receive. The soul, or the psyche (from which we get the word psychology), is the invisible part of us that reacts to the universe around us. It interprets what we see, touch, smell, hear, and taste. If you can picture the universe in a bubble, the soul sees everything in the bubble and tries to make sense out of it.

The spirit is the part of us that connects with God. This goes outside the bubble of our world and looks back in.

When I read an article like this, I see that the body and soul are evident, but not the spirit. This tells us what to do within the bubble, but it doesn’t connect us to God and his view from outside the bubble. What the Bible says is true and whether or not you believe in the Bible, when you do what is says you will be blessed and when you violate its teachings you will be cursed in some way. So those who follow the Bible’s teaching will find that their families will be better.

You can be a good father without being a godly father.

This is a trap of Satan. Satan does not mind if we are good fathers as long as we do not follow God. We can spend time with our children, take them to baseball practice, dance classes, attend school plays and make sure we treat them special. We can help them with their homework, fix their cuts and bruises, give them special time and never have a thing to do with God.

What is the result of this? We feel good. That is the trap of Satan. We will feel good whenever we do what is good. But what we need to understand is that we loose when what is good is not best.

Our example this morning is Ahaziah, the father of Joash. We looked at Joash’s mother on Mother’s Day. We made assumptions that she did not spend much time with Joash out of a sacrifice for his safety. But his father died when he was young. Ahaziah only is king for one year. Read further on in the story to see the details of his life and death.

We study Ahaziah to find out one truth. Ahaziah was a bad man. He was not a good example for his family. His mother was evil and his role models were evil people. But the core problem for Ahaziah was the one that we can learn from. Ahaziah was bad because he walked in the ways of his wife’s family and did evil in the eyes of the Lord.

The text is 2 Kings 8:25.

25 In the twelfth year of Joram son of Ahab king of Israel, Ahaziah son of Jehoram king of Judah began to reign. 26 Ahaziah was twenty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem for one year. His mother’s name was Athaliah, a granddaughter of Omri king of Israel. 27 He walked in the ways of the house of Ahab and did evil in the eyes of the LORD, as the house of Ahab had done, for he was related by marriage to Ahab’s family.

Ahaziah walked in the ways of the house of Ahab. What way was that?

Israel was divided north by south. The northern part of Israel was called Israel. It contained ten tribes out of the twelve of all Israel. The southern part was made up of two tribes, Benjamin and Judah. The southern part of this split was called Judah.

Ahaziah was king of Judah, the southern part of the split. His mother, Athaliah was the granddaughter of Omri, king of Israel. Her influence in his life caused him to live like Ahab, who was a king of the northern part called Israel.

Israel had fallen into great sin. People in the north did not follow God. They rejected the Ten Commandments, they adopted the culture and religion of other countries in the area.

Judah had remained closer to God. But now Ahaziah led Judah to imitate Israel in the north. When the Bible tells us Ahaziah walked in the ways of the house of Ahab, it tells us that Ahab walked away from the teachings of Moses, from the teachings of the Bible.

29 In the thirty-eighth year of Asa king of Judah, Ahab son of Omri became king of Israel, and he reigned in Samaria over Israel for twenty-two years. 30 Ahab son of Omri did more evil in the eyes of the LORD than any of those before him. 31 He not only considered it trivial to commit the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, but he also married Jezebel daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and began to serve Baal and worship him. 32 He set up an altar for Baal in the temple of Baal that he built in Samaria. 33 Ahab also made an Asherah pole and did more to provoke the LORD, the God of Israel, to anger than did all the kings of Israel before him. (1 Kings 16:27-33, NIV).

What a surprise. Ahab made God angry. Did you know it is possible to make God angry? Walk away from God and lead others with you. That is a sure way to bring out the anger of God.

Ahaziah followed Ahab, he didn’t follow God.

This is where our society is headed today. We can have great advice on the family, but don’t include God. We have taken God out of our school, our nation and more importantly, out of many of our homes. We follow Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, our parents, our in-laws, our friends, but we miss it when we don’t follow God.

Jesus said, “What does it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?” I paraphrase this and ask, “What does it profit our children if they do good in sports, good in school, find a high-paying job, find a wonderful wife and have beautiful children if they lose their own soul?”

You can be a good father without being a godly father. My encouragement today is for the fathers in this church to step up and be not only good, but also godly.

I am impressed with the involvement that many of you have in your children’s lives. That fact that you are in church with them today is a good sign.

What are the goals you have for your children? You may have many, but if your goal is not to help your children be godly children, committed followers of Jesus Christ, than you may be a good father, but not a godly father.

Listen to what the Lord told Abraham. 19 For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.” (Genesis 18:19, NIV).

Children learn by example. Let me suggest some practices that you can adopt to help influence your children. These will be signs of a godly father. All of these practices are simple acts of obedience to the God you love.

First, pray.

We are commanded to pray without ceasing. The Bible in 1 Timothy says that men should pray. The word in the Greek is the word for “male.” It does not say that women shouldn’t pray, but that men should pray.

Who prays in your home at mealtime or at night with the children? If mom always does it or if no one is doing it, it sends out a message to your children that men don’t pray. God commands you to pray. If you want to move from being a good father to a godly father, then pray. If you feel embarrassed by your stumbling, pray anyway. Tell your children you are doing it because you want to obey God. They will hear a great message about your heart for God behind that statement. They will see that you consider obedience to God more important than giving in to the fear of looking foolish. What a great lesson to teach your children!

Second, read your Bible. I know that some of you say, “I’m not much of a reader.” I ask this question, “Is it because you can’ read or you don’t want to read?” If you can’t read, that is understandable. If you don’t want to read, then you need to be obedient to God. You read the sports page, the financial page, the obituary page, but you won’t read the Bible? Godly fathers are obedient to God.

So what does God say about this? “Study to show yourselves approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” When your children see you reading the Bible, it sends a message to them of the importance of the word of God to you. I remember my stepfather going into his little office every morning and taking time in quiet to read the word of God. He not only said it was important, he showed it by disciplining himself to get into it himself. Do you want to settle for being a good father or move on to being a godly father? Godly fathers want to hear God’s voice. His voice is heard in the Bible.

Third, attend church. By this I mean stay in contact with other Christians. Make it a priority to be with godly people. Good fathers wake up on a Sunday morning and say, “The weather is nice, let’s go visit our friends.” So they get up and go. They have a great time. When they come home that evening, they don’t realize it, but they have sent a message to their children. Being with God’s people is something you do when you don’t have something else you want to do.

What does God say? “Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves as is the manner of some. But encourage one another so much the more as you see the day approaching.” Two qualities that God wants to see happening. First, he wants us to meet. Second, he wants us to encourage one another spiritually.

A good father will be involved with his children in many activities, a godly father will interact with other believers and encourage his children to do the same. He will encourage other Christians and show by example how important the body of Christ is to him. His children will see his commitment to Christ and to God’s people. Our children learn by example. If your friends follow the ways of Ahab and not the ways of the Lord, you might be able to combat it, but your children are apt to be pulled in that direction.

How do you find a person’s heart? How do you know what they really are like inside? Jesus said, Where a man’s treasure is, there his heart is also.” Look at what someone treasures and you will find where his or her heart really is.

A good father may treasure his children, his family, his community or whatever. A godly father will treasure God above all else.

Fourth, serve the Lord. Some people come to church to listen and then go home and live for themselves. Others come to church to listen and then go home to live for God. A good father can fit the first. A godly father fits the second.

What are you doing for Jesus? If your children look at you, do they see that you have anything that can be defined as being done for Jesus? Do you have a ministry? Do you have a spiritual passion to see God’s work done and are you the one who is part of it? Are you using any of your gifts and talents for the Lord? A good father might use them at work or in the community, a godly father will use them for heavenly purposes.

What is at the core of this? At the core of this is the desire on the part of the father to honor God, to live for Jesus in his life. I am not suggesting that we put on a show. I am not suggesting that we pray, read our Bible, fellowship with believers or serve the Lord as a way of manipulating our children into a religious life. I am suggesting that we look at life from God’s perspective and seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. All the rest will be added.

I want to end with a poem

Today I Taught My Child

When I got mad today and hit my child

"For his own good, " I reconciled,

And then I realized my plight...

Today, I taught my child to fight.

When interrupted by the phone,

I said, "tell them I'm not home."

And then I thought, and had to sigh...

Today I taught my child to lie.

I told the taxman what I made,

forgetting cash that was paid,

And than I blushed at this sad feat...

Today I taught my child to cheat.

I smugly copied a cassette,

To keep me from one more debt,

But now the bells of shame must peal...

Today I taught my child to steal.

Today I cursed another race,

Oh God, protect what I debase,

for now, I fear it is too late...

Today I taught my child to hate.

By my example, children learn

That I must lead in life's sojourn

In such a way they are led

By what is done and not what is said.

Today I gave my child his due

By praise for him instead of rue.

And now I have begun to guide;

Today I gave my child pride.

I now have reconciled and paid

to IRS all that I have made.

And now I know that this dear youth,

Today has learned from me the truth.

The alms I give are not for show,

And yet, this child must surely know

That charity is worth the price:

Today he saw my sacrifice.

I clasp within a warm embrace

My neighbor of another race.

The great commandment from up above.

Today I taught my child to love.

Someday my child must face alone

This fearsome undertone,

But I have blazed a sure pathway:

Today I taught my child to pray.